I was sitting across from a prospective client, a senior executive at a national association, when she asked the question I’d been dreading.
“So what’s your secret? Why do your clients stick with you?”
I hesitated. Should I talk about my ROAR Method™? My 25 plus years across Advocis, TECHNATION, OTLA, CSAE, and CFIB?
Instead, something unexpected slipped out: “I lead with gratitude.”
The silence that followed felt eternal. In my head, I was already backtracking. Too soft. Too vulnerable. She wants to hear about ROI and retention rates, not feelings.
But then she leaned forward. “Tell me more about that.”
That conversation changed everything. Not because I suddenly discovered a new consulting methodology, but because I stopped apologizing for the very strengths that made me effective.
The VIA Discovery
Just before I launched MemberView Consulting in 2020, in the middle of a global pandemic, I completed the VIA Character Strengths Survey. When my results came back, I stared at my top five strengths: Gratitude. Love. Hope. Social Intelligence. Zest.
My first thought? These aren’t business strengths. These are feelings.
My second thought? Wait. What if these ARE my business strengths?
For years, I’d felt like I was fighting against some invisible standard of what a “good membership leader” should be. I thought I needed to be harder, pushier, more transactional. But what if gratitude wasn’t a personality trait but a competitive advantage?
Here’s what I discovered when I stopped apologizing for who I am:
Gratitude becomes your signature. When someone refers me to a potential client, I write a note, sometimes handwritten, always specific. When I close a contract, my first message isn’t about deliverables. It’s this: “I’m grateful for the opportunity to serve your members and your team.” One executive told me recently, “You’re the only consultant who’s ever thanked me for the contract.”
Love means caring beyond the contract. I’ve taken calls at 9 PM because a CEO was panicking about board questions. I’ve built membership strategies for free when I could see an organization struggling. I do these things because I care. Not because it’s billable. When you care about someone’s success beyond your own interests, they feel it. And they remember it.
Hope is vision when the path is unclear. Membership directors come to me when retention is down, recruitment is stalled, and budgets are tight. They don’t need someone to tell them what’s wrong. They need someone to help them see what’s possible. One Vice President told me, “I was ready to resign before our first meeting. You helped me see a future worth fighting for.”
Social Intelligence reads what data can’t. In recruitment calls, it helps me hear what prospects aren’t saying. “We’re evaluating our membership investments” really means I need to justify this to my CFO. I’ve walked into strategy sessions where the stated problem was “member engagement,” but the real problem was internal dysfunction. Social intelligence helps me ask better questions and tailor my communication to what each client actually needs.
Zest is the energy that makes hard work feel possible. Recruitment is grueling. Cold calls that go nowhere. Prospects who ghost you. But zest is why I still get excited about data models and member journey maps after 25 plus years. People feed off energy. I’ve had clients tell me, “Your energy reminded me why I loved this work in the first place.”
The Proof: TECHNATION
In November 2020, I was hired by TECHNATION, Canada’s national technology association, on a five month contract as Vice President of Membership. The mandate: stabilize and grow membership during one of the most challenging periods in the organization’s history. The pandemic was raging. The tech industry was bracing for massive layoffs and budget cuts.
Most consultants would have said, “Let’s wait for things to stabilize.”
I said, “Let’s get to work.”
That five month contract turned into seven renewals over three years. We generated over 500 thousand dollars in new member revenue and over 5 million dollars in renewal revenue. Every single one of my character strengths showed up in that work. Gratitude turned anxious members into ambassadors. Love meant I genuinely cared about tech companies struggling to survive. Hope gave the board confidence to invest in growth. Social intelligence helped me read the room in tense budget meetings. Zest reminded the team why this work mattered.
But here’s my true differentiator: I’m a recruitment specialist who understands the entire member lifecycle, and I’ve built proprietary frameworks to make it systematic and repeatable.
The ROAR Method™ covers the full member lifecycle: Recruitment (prospecting, sales, business development), Onboarding (first impressions and early value), Active Engagement (programming and community), and Renew (retention strategies).
3V Membership Sales Model™ converts prospects into members by helping associations Validate their challenges, demonstrate clear Value, and create Velocity toward action. Inspired by my membership sales experience and adapted to modern sales methodologies, 3V translates proven principles into the membership context, transforming recruitment conversations from transactional pitches into genuine, purpose driven connections.
Most associations focus 90 percent of their energy on onboarding, engagement, and renewal. Their recruitment engine runs on autopilot or doesn’t run at all. I flip that equation.
Life Lessons From Unlikely Teachers
You can’t understand how I show up in my work without understanding how I show up in my life.
Every morning, I work out and meditate. Some days it’s 30 minutes. Some days it’s 75. This ritual is about centering myself before I show up for clients, for my family, for the world.
My two dogs, Winnie and Ivey, remind me daily about what matters. Consistency. Winnie shows up for her walk every single day. Members need that same consistency from their organizations. Enthusiasm. Ivey greets everyone like they’re the most important person in the world. That’s exactly how members should feel when they engage with your association. Loyalty. They trust me because I’ve shown up for them every single day. Members stay loyal when organizations show up for them.
Yes, I’m that person who talks about his dogs in business meetings. Because the principles are universal.
I married my high school sweetheart. We’ve raised twin daughters together. People ask me all the time: “How do you balance work and family?” I don’t. Balance implies equal distribution. What I do is integration. The same commitment I bring to my marriage and my daughters is the commitment I bring to client relationships. Long term thinking. Consistent showing up. Deep care. Willingness to work through hard seasons.
Membership retention and marriage have more in common than you’d think.
The Vulnerability Payoff
For too long, I tried to fit into someone else’s idea of what a “serious consultant” should be. I downplayed the parts of myself that felt too soft, too personal, too vulnerable.
But the moment I stopped apologizing for who I am, everything changed.
Clients didn’t run away. They leaned in. That five month TECHNATION contract turned into three years and over 5.5 million dollars in membership dues revenue. Referrals didn’t dry up. They multiplied. My business didn’t suffer. It thrived.
Here’s what I now know to be true: Your strengths, the real ones, the ones that feel most natural to you, are your competitive advantage. Not in spite of being “soft.” Because they’re human.
In a world increasingly dominated by AI, automation, and transactional relationships, the consultants who will thrive are the ones who remember that membership work is fundamentally about people. Their needs, their hopes, their sense of belonging.
An Invitation
Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey at www.viacharacter.org. It’s free and takes about 10 to 15 minutes. When you get your results, ask yourself: How do these strengths show up in my work? Am I leveraging them, or am I fighting against them?
Then share your results on LinkedIn and tag me. Tell me your top five and what surprised you. I genuinely want to know.
Because the membership profession needs more leaders who are willing to bring their whole selves to the work. Who lead with authenticity. Who understand that data matters, but people matter more.
If you’re an association leader who needs to grow membership with both strategy and heart, let’s talk. Because the future of membership is about better recruitment, stronger relationships, and sustainable growth.
And that starts with gratitude.
